It's The Little Things...

It's the little things that count.

We hear that phrase all the time. And it's often true. We don't always care if someone lavishes us with a huge expensive gift, but rather that they even remembered our birthday. A simple card, letting us know we are not forgotten, is often more then enough to brighten any day!

I've had a list of things/goals I want to do, see, or own someday. And while over time, what's on the list has changed, it has never ceased to amaze me what gets fulfilled first. It's not always the first one, in fact it's not often the top-ten!

Often I've had very good dreams, with decent, reasonable, and usually very "Christian-ese" items near the top, or first on the list. When I was twelve, my highest priority-dream was to be a missionary. When I was about twenty my top-three was: (1) a decent job so I could afford my own (2) apartment and (3) a vehicle, to get to and from my job.

Anything fancy, or personal (a want or like that was far from a need), was always at the very bottom of the list. It was more like,"if I ever have any extra money, and there is absolutely nothing else 'higher priority' that it needs to go towards first--whether for myself, or another--then this is how I'll use it." Although, at the bottom of the list, the item was not always financial, that was always how I felt about whatever was down there; as though, chances were it would never happen,because there was always going to be something better, physically, fiscally, mentally, and/or "Christian-ly" before it.

Really, my lists had a bottom-most and a highest-priority, but no middle. Because I knew what was most important, what was a long-shot that would never be, and the rest would change from day-to-day. (For instance, in the middle could be gas money, or groceries, both of which would change amount or items from week-to-week, yet they would always rank higher in priority then the bottom items. Obviously.)

Yet, when I was twenty and my dream was to be a Texan, obviously, I had at the bottom of my list "someday I want a Stetson to go with my 'western ensemble'; good cowboy boots in my size, wouldn't be bad either."

Guess what was the first thing God provided for me? Not the apartment, or car, or even the job -- I did not know then that in a year I would move in with missionaries and start traveling around the world, again, so it was good I did not get those things then). No, I got the Stetson. Because I was out visiting a friend, who upon seeing a sale on all hats, felt compelled to get me a Stetson, measured to fit and in a color chosen, just for me. They even gave me a hat pin to go with it! And, yes, later, for an early birthday present someone else got me the boots to go with the hat, because they saw the hat and thought it looked lonely!

I joked once with God that if I ever got engaged, I wanted an heirloom that was not a usual diamond but a sapphire in the middle of little green stones that would look like leaves around a flower. All inset. It was a someday-maybe joke, but within that week someone gave me a ring, that was exactly how I had pictured it in my mind; a ring that was apprised, I'm told, for at least $300! Was I engaged? No. Did I need a ring as valuable as my Stetson (making them the two most valuable items that I owned at the time)? Certainly not!

But I think God's priorities are different then ours. And sometimes, it is not about what we need (or think we need). It is about Him...reminding us how much He loves us.

Dying and raising again, saving us from sin and hell, redeeming us to live with Him, that should be enough. That is enough.

But He does not stop there!

Not because He has to.

If we are examples of Christ, and we get little things for each other, little surprise 'someday-maybe' items just to remind a friend "you are heard; you are loved' you are not forgotten." Then should it surprise us that our example--Christ--does the same?

At that time, I did not need a job in the USA. I could not be tied down by an apartment lease when I was about to move and travel abroad. And I certainly did not need the vehicle and the financial burden it would bring when I would soon have transportation available to me, care of the ones I would move in with. So,maybe I did not know that at the time (in my twenties) I made the list. And I would not realize that for several months, but I have never forgotten (and still own) that Stetson and those boots, because at the time it was like God was saying both "Let me bless you" and "I am looking out for you--love you--even if it is not how you expect." It meant a lot to know He cared...about the unimportant.

That ring was like a reminder from God, that He is mine and I am His. Like two people engaged, I said "yes" to Him years before and made a promise--like Esther and others in the Bible--to "prepare" and make myself ready as His bride. And He made a promise to me, to love me, never leave me, and help me every step along the way. The ring was just a beautiful reminder that He hears, even our 'jokes' and has chosen to be bound to us, for eternity.

I know what some might say. I have heard what some already say about expensive gifts: "It should be sold and the money given to help missions" or "...the poor" or "...the church" or something like that. I've heard many friends say "if I ever won the lottery, or suddenly became a millionaire, I would not keep it, but give it all away!"

I am not judging their word--perhaps they really would do that if it was them. I believe,in all things, whether possessions of worth or money in the bank, we should let God guide us in how we spend or what we do with it. Someone was compelled to give me the Stetson, the boots, and the ring. And God used it in a heartfelt way, that I needed to hear, right then.

Years later, God asked me to give up the ring (but not the promise) to help a Christian organization. But I still have the Stetson and boots.

Then, today, God sent me another little reminder of His love, in another wish fulfilled!

I hitched a ride home from church with an older couple, who were driving right by and would not mind. I did not know that not too long ago, God blessed them by giving them a someday-dream item. I did not realize when they volunteered to take me home after the after-church meeting, that that gift was the thing I had admired for the last couple weeks. It was not, mind you, something I have ever wanted to own, just something I wanted to ride in, just once, someday.

Today I was given a lift home, riding shot-gun, in a Mustang!

Yes, I'm sure it's an expensive gift. Something they could sell and help out someone.

But God gave it to them. He did not compel, nor let other's guilt them, into selling it. I am sure--although I barely know the couple--He had a special message just for them with that gift, too.

But what I know is the message for me...

For today, they had the car, just so I could ride in it!

It's not about judging,based on other's wealth (accumulated or temporary), it's about living the life God calls each of us, separately, to so that God can use us to bless another.

It's about the "little things"--the things at the bottom of our lists--that remind us what love is. Who love is.

And, yes, sometimes, that means keeping the gift just so someone like me--who has no desire to own such a car--can be blessed though it!

And sometimes it means giving it away, like someone gave me the ring, originally.

Or keeping it for a time, so you will be at the right time and place to give it to the one who needs later.

(There was both a message in the getting of the ring, and in my eventual--happenstance--of giving the ring later to help an organization while visiting over a thousand miles away from my home-state!)

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then the "little things" are worth much more!

What I know, right now, today, is that I am blessed. That God loves me, very much!

Not just loved me when I was sixteen and went on my first missions trip. Not just when I was twenty and got boots and a Stetson.More then just the engagement ring, or the obvious dying on the cross. BUT TODAY, WHEN I RODE IN A MUSTANG!

Today and forever!

But just in case I need a little reminder, I am sure He will find something--something near the bottom of the list, probably--to help me cross off.

Curses

"It's not the power of the curse - it's the power you give the curse."

I like that quote; but I like the movie it comes from for two reasons...

(First...)

For anyone who is unfamiliar with the quote, it comes from the movie Penelope. It's about a girl born with the curse of a pig-face (nose and ears like a pig). She does what most girls do, of course, and believes that the curse will be broken once she marries (the curse said it would be broken when one of her own kind --a blue-blood-- loves her).

Too many romance movies say at the end (just after the wedding), "they lived happily ever after."

It's a popular idea, and definitely an easier one to believe. Easier, because it requires little work on our own part; once we are married "life beings", everything becomes perfect, happy, better...

I am always reminded of what a professor at college once said in talking about marriage: "two halves, don't make a whole."

I correlate it to the idea of book-end. Like contacts, it's hard to say without the 's' at the end, but bear with me here...

I own a wonderful bookend. It's country-western themed with a beautiful cowboy boot, spurs and all, nestled against the wooden side. I love it, and it fits right on my book shelf, supporting the books against the side-wall of the shelf. It is surrounded by my other country-western and wanna-be-Texan themed nick-knacks.

I also own another bookend, a set of bookends actually. They sit on my "fantasy" themed bookshelf holding up the Lord of The Rings, Narnia, and other such books. In fact, it is a set from the Hobbit, the one end being Bilbo inside his hobbit-hole, heading towards the door to answer, because on the opposite side of the door--the other bookend--standing in the garden outside the door is Gandalf rapping the door with his stick.

Any of those bookends can stand alone. A little nicked, bruised, and well-worn (the point on Gandalf's hat has been re-wired on many a time), but they are still individual bookend (no 's'). As long as they are holding the books up against a wall or the side of the shelf, they can work, alone.

If one of the bookends was only a half, could it hold anything up? If it was just the bottom board, would not the books just fall onto the wood? Or if it was just the side board, would it not topple over with the books? Or just the figure in the middle (boot, Gandalf, whatever), could it be of any use aside from just another nick-knack on the shelf?

That is what, I believe, the professor meant in college.

We should not need another person to complete us. With God (the wall, in the bookend example), we are complete.

Yes, the Hobbit bookends are more complete, together. Separately they work, they can support books, but together they tell a complete story that they can not, separately.

"Two halves, don't make a whole..." when it comes to marriage. But two wholes, make a better whole.

We may not need the other person, but the other person makes us better for it.

We do not need to be perfect, but we do need to be complete. In other words, we can have nicks in our sides, be chipped, be used well, but we still need to be complete --in God-- enough to do and be who we are meant to be, individually. Then when we are united with other bookend, we can work together. Better. We can be even more complete.

Hence why I like the movie Penelope. Marriage is not the thing that solves her problems. The curse is not broken by marriage. In fact, she never marries in the movie. The curse is finally broken when she says "I like me as I am!" She was the one who had to love herself, accept herself, flawed face and all, before the curse could be broken.

Everyone has flaws, some of us just wear ours more obviously then others. Well hidden or not, the flaws are still there. Marriage is not the end-all or save-all.

It was never meant to be...only God can save us, heal us, break the curse, etc...

(Second...)

The other reason I love the movie is because of the quote. And the misconception, or power, we give curses. Real or imagined. Even the word 'curse' has an ominous ring to it that can cause one to want to run to the hills.

Rom 8:28 (NASB) "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Jer 29:11 (NASB) "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Ps 139:14 (NASB) "I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

All to often we look in the mirror at our pig-nose, our floppy pig-ears. We look at the flaws, the imperfections we carry, whether well hidden or obvious and outward, and we call it a curse. We shake our fists at God and wonder why we are not healed, delivered, whatever from this curse. This imperfection.

As you probably realized in an earlier post, I am no stranger to physical pain. Arthritis is not a blessing, and neither is pain, however...

(Let me say a side note real quick, before I get too into this. I am not, under any circumstances, calling disease and suffering a blessing...but...)

I see every 'curse', no matter what it is, as something more like the way it was for Penelope. It was just her face. It was outward. It did not change who she was as a person, it simply made it harder for her to find a suitable guy because most ran off screaming as soon as they saw her "hideous face."

It was outward.

Now, not all curses, or flaws are visible to the human eye. Not all are obvious as it was for everyone who saw Penelope.

However, all curses are just a wrapping on the present. If we are willing to look past the paper, the shell, the hideous-ness, we might find a blessing, a beautiful gift, inside the box.

Just as the one guy did who fell in love with Penelope.

Just as we do every Christmas morning when we tear through the paper to get to the gift.

On Christmas morning, when was the last time you held a wrapped gift up to the light and yelled at the gift-giver for the excessive amounts of tape? The poor folds? The ugly paper?

I like to think of the flaws, the curses, as a covering for a gift. Something that God wanted to give us, show us, but, sometimes, He allowed someone else (Satan) to wrap it. I believe it exposes true character if we are willing to look past the 'curse' and see what God has hidden in it for us.

I am not saying that you, or I, should ever give up on praying for the disease or pain or whatever to be taken from us. For God to heal us here on earth, just as He did when Jesus's stripes delivered us many years before we were even born...But

We should be the ones to look past our flaws (examples: the pig-nose or the poorly-taped wrapping) to what is within (examples: character or the gift).

To summarize: only God is the save-all (not marriage or another person) to every curse, flaw, etc, whether He is to show us the blessing hidden within or deliver us from it entirely.

VALENTINE'S DAY...uh oh?

I have always been a bit on the weird side of things. I love being alone, dating myself (as some call it), deciding when I want to do something--or skip or procrastinate--and knowing immediately whether it will fit in my schedule or budget, etc. It is nice.

I, of course, am accountable to people for things that are important. But things like whether I swept the whole floor today, or just did a cursory sweep, or none at all. Who is to care or know when nobody else is around? Of course I ca not stand something being left undone for too long (my near-OCD kicks in), but I have the option to leave it if I want.

I can get an art project out (like scrapbooking) and know that nobody will complain if I leave it out, unfinished, for however many days in a row I need to finish it. Nobody will find fault with it, either, or ruin it because they did not see it laying there when they threw their coat across the dining room table.

Yes, being single, having my own apartment, has soooo many advantages.

Aside from events, or social outings I go to or plan and host, I can pretty much do what I want, when I want. Go to bed, get up, eat, clean, whenever. If the fancy should strike me, I might dust at 2am.

When I feel like seeing a certain movie, I only have to check the ratings to see if its something I would like, without having to think about who else might see it or dislike/disapprove of it (ie. I can finally watch LOTR again!). And if by some misfortune I start watching something on Netflix that half-way through, I find I can not stand it or it takes an unexpected, go-against-my-moral-boundary twist, I can turn it off without having to deal with complaints as to "We have watched this far, lets finish it" or needing to explain myself. I can just turn it off in the middle.

I can plan one of those "self-dates" and change my mind at the last minute. I went once to a theater for one movie, and decided to do two in a row, skip the dinner afterward, but get popcorn instead--it was a special deal-day at theater where drinks and popcorn were just a $1 anyway.

Since I already know myself, I already know how I think or reason or the why's and why-nots. So no complaints or explanations that most would not understand anyway.

I have even worried about what I would do when I married, since I love alone time as much as socializing! Marriage, while having its benefits, I am sure, has always seemed a bit restrictive to me. Having someone come home to me e-v-e-r-y evening after work? Really? Argh! It would mean only a few hours to myself, and those would be hours I would probably use to clean or cook so the house would be perfect for him each evening, except how then would I find time that would be just mine and nonrestrictive? To use how I wanted?

Yeah, I am sure there are perks to married life, and someday I am sure I will sing a different tune. But for now, I have always loved being single, being alone, having my own domain.

I have spent many a holiday alone, even, and not because I was not invited to something, but just because I prefer it!

This last Christmas I told all my relatives I wanted to spend alone. I did end up Skype-ing a sister in the early morning, though, but then without any other scheduled event, I could go back to bed and sleep way in. And I wrung in this last New Year's by marathon-ing cheesy romantic Christmas movies on Netflix, keeping an eye on the clock, and texting a sister to make sure she was still awake.

Lonely? I do not even understand the word, usually.

Alone, yes. But lonely? Never. I can be quit an amusing person!

In the past, I used to tease my single friends as Valentine's day would creep up on us, because of how emotionally distraught they would get over being single on such a romantic holiday. Or whatever it was they used to say.

I did not understand what the turmoil was all about.

Valentine was a guy who died without ever being with the love of his life. So if anything, it is a holiday celebrating unrequited love, in my opinion, and who wants to celebrate that? Getting engaged, dating, etc on such a holiday just seemed like a bad idea, not to mentioned cliche and over-done! My thought was that a couple should pick a day for themselves, their own holiday, and make it special...

My father has always been my "Valentine," if I ever counted anyone, because from the time I started college and ever since, he has given me a carnation or two to stick in a vase, or a small box of my favorite chocolates, or some other favorite treat, or any combination of the sort. He was my "Valentine" even before movies like Courageous said that the father should be their daughter's first Valentine/date, and thereby set a standard/idea of what the daughter should look for.

I have always enjoyed my single-ness.

So why am I writing, then?

Simple...because this year it bothers me.

I know, I have turned into a cliche...or worse, become just like every single person from any cheesy romantic movie...

I do not know if it bothers me because my hormones are all out of whack; if it is from being unusually snow-bound so much this year. That in about seven months I hit the big uh-oh (3-0) for a single person. That I have gone through a mental list in my head of all my former-single friends and it keeps reading like this "married, significant other, dating, married, married, engaged, married, married, oh and married." We will not even think about the fact that way too many of my married friends are on their what, fourth kid, already? Anyway, whatever it is, this year as Valentine's day sneaks up on me, it actually bothers me!

This year I actually feel sad that I have never gotten to know what it is like to even date, let alone be a couple on any holiday. I watch my friends, hear about their plans, and while I am happy for them (some of them are just down-right straight-from-a-movie adorable over it!), but I actually wonder what it would be like from the inside--their side--of things.

I have never dated, never had a boyfriend, never courted, never been engaged, etc (I am sure you get the point)...but I have never minded...

Until now.

Because now as midnight ticks up, and Valentine's Day starts -- for many other's in a few hours, when they wake up-- I am curious to know what it is like. Is it like Christmas morning for a child? Are you giddy to know what your spouse has planned for you? Excited with anticipation for work to end in the afternoon to find out? Does the day just seem to crawl by until then? Or does everything seem airy and better, like floating on a cloud, just from waiting? Or are you the planner, and thinking through every detail, just waiting with glee to see the look on your spouse's face when you give her that little thing she has been wanting? Or when you tell her you got someone to babysit the kiddos so you could have a simple evening out?

I am curious to know what it is like...and despite all the stories I hear or read or see, nothing will be the same as when I have actually stood on that end of things...and this year, I really wish I was standing over there.

The Christian radio station gave a good suggestion in that it was reminding people to not forget their single friends on Valentine's Day; perhaps by taking them out for dinner, or just dropping by to give them a little something--even just a hug--and let them know you appreciate their friendship, etc...And if I had a car, I would totally be all over that...Besides that, like I said earlier, I do not have any single friends that I can recall; nor can I figure out why a married person, friend of mine or not, would want to take time from the one day a year for the married people to celebrate being married to their best friend to spend some of it with a single friend.

My married, or otherwise engaged, friends, go and have fun this Valentine's Day. Enjoy yourself and your significant other. That is what the day is for...Just, for me, when the day is past, do not forget to tell me about it and perhaps, remember me in your prayers so that maybe next time I will join you with stories to tell, too.