Friday, February 28

Making stew...

Well, I was going to try and keep up on blogging a little more regularly then this, but sometimes time gets away from us. As it is, it has been a busy enough week, despite the lack of blog posts. I fear, however, that my lack of public posting leads people to wonder away or think I do not write.

I am a "stewer".

By that I mean that even when there is nothing displayed publicly, it hardly means that there is nothing to display. It simple means it is not fit for public YET, or that I still am working out a few kinks. So things not only have to be chewed, and re-chewed like the proverbial cud of a cow, but they have to stew or ruminate for a while even once pen has been put to paper (or in this case, fingers to keyboard).

I assure you that there are at least two other posts (for example) that that have been in the works this last week, they just have not been made public yet. One has barely the point-notes to it as I have yet to get the wording beyond that to come out correctly. While the other post was a thought I had stewing for a couple days after I read something in a devotional, that unfortunately I seem to have misplaced so now I can not add the quote that begat the stew in the first place and I feel, therefore, it is unworthy of posting until I have located that quote (which I believe God will provide its discovery when it is best to post it).

You see, I believe God orchestrates things like that for a reason. I do not believe that everything should be shared publicly, immediately.

After all, even Mary the mother of Jesus, is said to have pondered "these things in her heart." (Luke 2:19)

I believe that no matter what a person is going through, if they write songs in the highs, then they should write songs in the lows too. If they write stories, or poems, or whatever they do to express themselves in the highs, they should also do it in the lows. Of course, I do not recommend publishing such things, but speaking from experience, so many things get worked out in a person's heart when they let it out. Before God.

Take the Psalmists' for example. I have always loved how, even in the midst of whatever, they would sing it out. It often started out awful, with words equivalent to "kill my oppressors, Oh God." But in the end, somehow, their heart was always turned back to praising God for the good things. For God being God. Or something like that.

I don't, of course recommend publishing such things or venting them on Facebook (seriously, enough people do that already). But I have found, because I am a writer in many facets, including song, that when I go before God and let it out, somehow in the end--perhaps it is in saying His name alone so much?--I am drawn back to who He is, His goodness, and suddenly I find my worries are not so large. Peace overtakes my heart, and I know that He has is all taken care of.

So I let things ruminate, or stew (perhaps that is not a good word, as it has such connotations like brewing to "blow a fuse", but bear with me), or I chew the cud, on things for a long while and figure that when it is time--like when God helps me find that quote--then it is time to share with other's. Share on here, or wherever. But not until my focus is back on His goodness, His love, even in the midst of the pain or whatever.

A personal example would be from a trip to Honduras a few years ago, where I was invited to preach during a youth service. That sermon was something that had started to stir in my heart during a personal devotion almost six months before that. Something personal that I could not shake or let go, and was constantly drawn back to thinking on, pondering, rewording it in my head, and when I was told "we need a preacher for the service," my heart heard the words "trust me, it's ready."

It was not so much that I knew I could say the right words. It was more like, because I had pondered on it enough, I could sit back, relax, and God could say just what needed to be said. As though, like a stew, it had sat simmering enough that just the right flavors would be brought to the forefront.

Just what needed to come out, and nothing more. Nothing less.

I have never been a spontaneous sort, even in my best or healthiest of years. But when it is time, what needs to be there is ready for the seemingly instantaneous moment.

I believe that if more people took a word from Mary's example, or the idea from the Psalmists, there would be less angst displayed on Facebook and the like. We should let things be pondered, until they are ready--if they are to ever be. And, of course, we should remember that even when displaying our "humanity" our "weaknesses" to show that even we are not perfect, the focus should inevitably, somehow, be centered on God. And sometimes that can not happen without some amount of rumination, letting God sift out the hurt or angst from the wisdom...

So during any of my Online-public areas of silence, do not fret or forget me, rather know that like the Psalmists or Mary, I am hardly quiet, I am just privately cultivating...something...I hardly expect perfectionism, but I anticipate a God-focus...a great stew where even the salt (of tears/sorrow) draws out the best flavors (deliverance/acceptance/love/etc)...

Until next time...